


Dear My Journal

by SilverBeetle



Series: Hurricane [1]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28382181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverBeetle/pseuds/SilverBeetle
Series: Hurricane [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078733
Kudos: 8





	1. Entry 1

Dear my Journal,

It has been a year since The Incident, and no one has found out who—what— I am. Sunny had given me this journal to put my thoughts in. I don’t understand why some people say he is psychotic or insane, he is kind and caring; unless if you deserve it.

I came in for another check-up, and I was relieved to find out that my spark became strong enough to go on easy missions, such as  Energon hunts and patrols. I was starting to go crazy being cooped up in a place full of orange walls. My first patrol of the year was with Sunny,  Jazzer and Bee and it was nice to stretch my tires.

~~ I’m a ghost of a girl that I used to know ~~

Whoops, listening to music and copied down the lyrics. Anyway, where was I? Oh! After the patrol, I was  medbayed -checked again and was told to rest. So, I came to Sunny’s and my room and started writing in this. And here we are, Journal, just you and me.

Sunny just came in, gtg, bye!


	2. Entry 2

Dear my Journal,

_RATCHET CLEARED ME FOR FULL DUTY!!!!_

I am so excited! I have just been itching to tear ‘Con’s limbs off!

I’ll get back to you once the deed it done!


	3. Entry 3

Dear my Journal,

It has been over a week since I last wrote in here. Surprisingly, writing down my thoughts and actions and what-not is quite relaxing. I am currently in the Rec-Room watching Robotex, it’s a movie that has is about robotic dinosaurs made by human hands. It’s much better than it sounds.

Anyway, the reason I am writing today is because I need to vent and I don’t want to force that upon Sunny. So, I’m writing it in here.

Why do the others make it so that I cannot fight with them? I mean, I get that I have a weaker Spark due to the Incident, but come on! It’s healing nicely and Ratchet said I was clear for duty! REAL DUTY! I am NOT useless! I can still fight! And Sunny always has my back in battle! So, WHY CAN’T I FIGHT?!

Do they think I can’t take care of myself? Because I can! I proved it so many times in the Pits, in the Mines, in the Pleasure homes, in this Fragging War!

Just because I’m injured, doesn’t mean I’m useless! I have done my best work injured! I have killed fully functioning ‘Bots injured! I have pulled pranks injured! I have sparred against my brother injured, and won! So, they can’t just pull me into the back of the fight for that reason!

And the worse part? MY  _OWN_ BROTHER AGREES WITH THEM! He knows me better than they ever will and he  _ agrees  _ with them!

How? Why?! 

He keeps his side of the Bond closed from me! He won’t look me in the optics! And he ordered me back to base when there are attacks (if we are at  base, he forces me to stay in our room)!

Why?! Does he not want me to fight beside him anymore? Does he not want me to be a  Frontliner ? …Does, does he hate me?

… Wow, that got dark... and far... fast. Heh, of course my brother, my other half, doesn’t hate me. He just gets annoyed whenever I pull pranks, or get injured, or mess with his side of the room, or... or whenever I get too close...

~~ Maybe he does hate me. ~~

Anyway, that’s it for now Journal. I  gotta get to Monitor Duty ;-;


	4. Entry 4

Dear My Journal,

Today I was allowed to, finally, fight with the others! Now I’m tired, probably need to train and get my stamina and what-not back up to normal. 

I’m  gonna go to my room and crash, hopefully while watching Sunny paint. His painting is always soothing.

I’ll write again when I wake up, good night Journal.


	5. Entry 5

Dear my Journal,

I am so tired. 

I know I didn’t do anything too strenuous. All I did was make a playful prank on Bluestreak. He thought it was funny and laughed along with me. Prowl didn’t even kick me to the Brig, mostly because Bluestreak was stressed and I got him to loosen up.

By Primus, I am exhausted. I still have training with the newbies and half a Night Duty, then I can finally get some recharge. I hope I don’t crash before then;  ~~ I don’t want the others to have extra reason to worry. ~~

~~ I worried them enough. ~~

So, the reason I am writing in here today is to put in some thoughts and write down things I would never tell my brother.

Earlier today, when I woke up, my Spark felt too rapid, so we Spark-Merged. It didn’t fix the rapid beating, so I took a scan of my systems. There was nothing wrong that my scans could pick up. So, I left it. My Spark beat fast at times since the Incident. Nothing has happened in those times.

Sunny sent over an emotion today, willingly. It was concern. I have no idea why. I had sent over question, but he brushed it off. Normal Sunny.

New ‘Bots landed on Earth around... uh... lunchtime, I think. Ultra Magnus,  Blurr , and Hotrod were on the ship. 

So, I was given the task to evaluate the them, especially  Blurr and Hotrod, to see how much training they need. 

OH SCRAP! I’m Late!

That’s it for now Journal!


	6. Entry 6

Dear My Journal,

The weirdest thing happened today. 

I was getting a cube, and the next thing I know, Ratchet is standing in front of me, Sunny had his servo on my lower back and shoulder seemingly trying to keep me steady and Prowl and Jazz were standing off to the side.

I asked when they got there, and Ratchet rushed me to the Med-Bay and scanned me. He yelled about something, using so much medical words and cuss words that I didn’t understand. Sunny seemed to though and said that we Merged and he didn’t feel anything.

Ratchet turned to me then and demanded to know everything that happened today. So, I told him. I left out the part about my Spark still beating rapidly after the Merge, though, I did not need a helm-ache from a  well-aimed wrench.

But it seems as though his scans picked it up and I got it anyways. He scolded me, again, about keeping medical information from the base Medic. Then proceeded to hit me, once again, with his famous wrench.

I woke up hours later. Damn that mech had a wrist!

Now here I am, laying on a med-berth and writing. Bored but content with the smooth flow of the pencil gliding against the rich paper.

Sunny really knows how to spoil a  bot :  ). 

And Hatchet is coming back... with a look that says he has bad news... great...

I write again once I hear what he has to say.


	7. Entry 7

Dear My Journal,

The bad news was very bad... or good... or neutral?

I don’t know...

Apparently, the explosion rattled my CPU too much and when my Spark went out for a few seconds, my CPU couldn’t deal and so it created a... uh... a Blank Phase?

Ratchet explained that my CPU would randomly stall, glitch, and then come back after a certain amount of time, and I wouldn’t remember it;  so, if I was talking to someone and it happens, I stop, then when it is done, I continue on talking like nothing happened

When asked about my Spark Rythm, Hatchet explained that it was most likely due to the stall, after I woke my Spark was normal. So, building up to the stall, my Spark will be out of Rhythm, and slightly afterwards.

That’s good. At least I don’t have Spark Failure.

Doc-Bot explained that it would be a good idea to keep track of the Rhythms via counting, clicking my glossa, the Bond, or via lightly tapping some part of me with my digit.

Sunny is now looking at me, and stated I could do all four...

During battles or on Patrol: Bond count

In Base: tapping, or glossa

Anywhere else: Random number after beats, or glossa

That sounds good.

I just hope I don’t have to do it during meetings. It’ll be  sooo embarrassing!


	8. Entry 8

Dear My Journal,

Today’s mission went better than expected. 

We (Sunny, Blue and I) were sent to look at a signal-divergent area. We got there, scanned the area, had to hide because ‘Con's came,  commed in what we found when the ‘ Cons were gone and headed back.

So, now that that is out, let’s talk about what Prowl asked of me. He pulled me aside and asked me to pull a prank on everyone. He went on to explain that it was more of a simulation on how everyone would react to one of their own turning on them... but in my audio’s that’s a prank. 

I am planning on being the “ Decepticon ”. I began closing the bond, I do that whenever I am writing, but this time I will keep it closed, even during the night. I will wait a week before starting the simulation.

Prowl, OP, myself and Ratchet are in on it. I am to run down a plan and share it with them. Have to do the plan in this journal because no one looks in it, I’ll just let them see the page with the plan.

Okay, the plan will be on the next page. 

**Plan--**

OP: will be out of base, or be my second “victim”. 

Prowl: will be assessing the situation from cam room. Cam room will be locked and the comms will all be down (cams will be up)

Ratchet: will be in med with First-Aid.

Me: will be taking out Sunny first, then OP (if he is not be out of base). will go after Ratchet next and knock him out.

Poor ‘Aid...

I will lock down the systems, using my personal ID (only superior or brother can unlock). I will open bond briefly to find Sunny and knock him out. I will go to OP and “knock him out” too. I will go to med and “attack” Ratchet, see how First-Aid reacts. I will go after bots. See how they react.  Ironhide will be fourth bot knocked out if need be.

Or... should I not knock out so many?

…

Huh.

Okay, new plan.

OP will come back to base after a patrol with Sunny and the base will be on lockdown. Don’t care if you open base, just don’t stop lockdown.

Prowl will still be in cam room with Red Alert when lockdown is initiated. I will lock you in and “break” the comms (cam room can hear all comms, but they will not reach other bots).

Ratchet will be in  medbay , doing whatever (just comm me beforehand if you have critical patient. I will move this up  til they are good)

I will go room-to-room and see how bots react. I will change my insignia. I will make my way to med. When I get  there, I will “attack” Ratchet.

Prowl will assess all  bots' performances.


	9. Entry 9

Dear My Journal,

We’re going with the second plan. We are to go in a week, my bond with Sunny is closed. This means I have to tap-tap. Damn.

Only the superiors know of what happened. (OP, Prowl, Jazz, Sunny, Ratchet). So, this will suck.

Anyway, I am planning on getting OP, Prowl and Ratch with a prank similar and have Jazz keep assessment. But for them I will wait a month, later if emergency something.


	10. Entry 10

Dear My Journal,

Well, that was eventful. Not.

I was incapacitated by Sunny before I could knock him out and got sent to the cell. He proceeded in taking my journal and reading it, speak of a breach of privacy! When he found out this was a simulation, he proceeded in giving all of us a lecture about using me as a Decepticon.

I understand where he’s coming from, but the others didn’t and thought he was just being overprotective again, I mean, he was, but that was not the point.

I could feel his emotions and he was so worried that I turned again, like I did after... after.

So, I did what I could to reassure him. I opened the bond fully and sent over all of my comforting-type of emotions as I took in all of his negative ones; his almost instantly relaxed and leaned into me. The others in the room were wise not to comment.

After that, we went to our room and  Sunstreaker had tossed me back my journal and said I was grounded. 

So, here I am; writing now because I am grounded into his room with no way of going out of it.

*Sigh*

I’ll prank Sunny so hard next time that he won’t see it coming.

And I just got a private comm. from Prowl saying that we will try again later. Lovely.

See you later journal, I hope anyways.


End file.
